#melly is an amazing person who deserves so so much love you guys
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elizakai · 4 months ago
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ANNOUNCEMENT EVERYONE!!
✨🌟✨🌟✨🌟✨🌟✨🌟✨🌟✨🌟✨🌟
HEY!! ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა
I’M VERY EXCITED TO ANNOUNCE AN EVENT THAT MYSELF AND @swiftmitsu WILL BE HOSTING STARTING TODAY!!!
This MONDAY is the birthday of our dear friend @mellybabbles …
We are starting a✨FUNDRAISER✨ to get him his first PHONE!!! This is so very important to us!!
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📣💥BUT THAT’S NOT ALL LOVELIES 💥📣
MITSU AND I WILL BE TAKING DOODLE/DRAWING REQUESTS FROM ANY DONATORS WHO PARTICIPATE IN THE EVENT AS A BONUS!!! ���്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧
It’s going to be an absolute blast, we’re very excited~
>>“HOW DO I PARTICIPATE?” 🏆<<
I’m going to link the kofi with the fundraiser goal down below, all tips will go through the event there and will be visible to everyone!!!🌸
>>“WHAT ABOUT THE DRAWINGS?” ✍️<<
Leave a message on kofi if you have something you want us to draw!!! We are going to tag team all requests!!! <333
(You’re allowed to request a specific person to do your drawing if you so desire, however please understand that if one person is getting to many requesters we may take on some of the load for one another!!)
EVERYONE PARTICIPATING WILL OBVIOUSLY BE SHOUTED OUT AS WELL
If there’s additional questions my dm’s are open!!🌸
(if you don’t want drawings that’s ok too no one’s stopping you <3 )
>>”AND WHAT’S THE GOAL???”💸<<
$250 USD is what we hope to hit for the phone! The fundraiser is already up and ready on the kofi below!!! ૮꒰˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶꒱ა
everyone will be kept updated as well!!
✨⬇️ ✨⬇️✨⬇️✨⬇️✨⬇️✨⬇️✨⬇️✨⬇️
✨⬆️✨⬆️✨⬆️✨⬆️✨⬆️✨⬆️✨⬆️✨⬆️
ANY AND ALL SUPPORT whether through participating directly or simply spreading the news itself is genuinely SO SO SO very appreciated🥹
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT THUS FAR, whether your new or have been around a while, it means the universe, truly.
…and make sure to wish @mellybabbles A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! SHOWER HIM IN LOVE 🎉
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💥📣🏁LETS GET IT STARTED 🏁📣💥
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sulietsexual · 6 years ago
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Its been a while since I asked you meta related things so I just had a random idea - top 5 characters which you just dont understand, top 5 ch which are well writen but you cant connect or like, top 5 ch storylines you would like to alter, top 5 traits of your disliked chracters that you like, top 5 traits of your loved characters you dislike, top 5 ways your disliked characters contributed to the main storyline that youre fine with. For males and females separately so theres room for thought :)
Top 5 Characters I Don’t Understand
Male
Wesley Wyndam Pryce - okay, so this is only from mid-Season 3 onward, but I cannot fathom Wesley’s actions in stealing Connor, consulting with Holtz and doubting/not believing in Angel to the point where he didn’t realise that Angel would do everything in his power to protect Connor. Then his self-righteous attitude post-kidnap is appalling, the fact that he acts like the wronged party and refuses to acknowledge his own wrongdoings and never apologises for his actions all drive me crazy. Just can’t.
Luke Danes, I mean, buddy, pull it together. You say you want Lorelai, yet never make a move and then bitch about her boyfriends and act like a jerk. You say you’re “all in” and then you run at the first sign of trouble and make Lorelai feel like she did something wrong. You tell Lorelai you want her to be honest with you and then you hide your daughter from her for two freakin’ months. You say you want to spend your life with her, yet you shut her out of it. Like, wtf??
Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III, omg, why is he such an abusive asshole? Why does he treat every woman he’s with like crap? Why does he treat Mellie as if she’s insignificant and stupid? Why does he act entitled to everyone’s time and affections? Why does he continually try to give up the most powerful position in America? Why doesn’t he have any ambition? Why does he resent anyone who does??? I don’t understand.
John Winchester. Dude’s always going on about how he “did the best that he could”. Nope. The best he could would have been to raise his boys in a stable freakin’ environment, not push adult responsibility onto his eldest, not treat his youngest like an outcast/freak for wanting a better life and actually being an adult and being there for his boys. How does he justify the way he treated his sons? Don’t get it.
Finn Collins. Dude, you cheat on your girlfriend, neglect to tell the girl you’re cheating with that you even have a girlfriend, don’t tell your girlfriend you cheated on her and expect both girls to still want you? Plus the whole massacring eighteen unarmed people and then ignoring their bodies as the girl you want walks in horrified and look at her as if she’ll love you for your actions? Yikes.
Female
Lorelai Gilmore, she constantly puts her mother down for her privilege and sense of entitlement, yet displays the exact same behaviour. She rejected Chris, then bitches about how he “wasn’t ready”. She thinks all her behaviour is cute but it’s actually really annoying. And she honestly seems to believe that her parents were the absolute worst parents in the world, when it reality they were really good to her and always try to be a part of her life. Pull it together, woman!
Octavia Blake, why does she blame her brother for everything? Why is her solution always violence? Why does she proudly cannibalize people? Why does she think she knows more about a culture she’s been a part of for two seconds than the people actually raised in said culture? 
Nancy Wheeler. Why does she want Jonathan so badly? Why does she screw over Steve? What makes her neglect her brother and run off with the guy she just banged? Why doesn’t she think through the consequences of her actions? Why did she offer her brother zero comfort when his friend “died”? What made her think it was okay to chase down Jonathan while he was picking out a coffin for his brother’s funeral to talk about Barb? Girl drives me bonkers.
Joey Potter, so many of her actions make no sense. She pines after Dawson for years and then breaks up with him for literally no reason. She blames him for telling her the truth about her father, after repeatedly saying they need to be honest with one another. She can’t decide between two guys for years. She constantly rejects Pacey yet picks him in the end. She believes she’s entitled to be a bitch to people just because she’s had a tough life.
Aria Montgomery, if your creepy-ass relationship really so important to you that you would lie to your friends and family, threaten your parents, risk your partner going to jail, threaten to walk out on your family and basically cease to exist outside of your boyfriend? Yikes.
Going to put the rest under the cut, otherwise we’re going to end up with a post a mile long.
Top 5 Characters Who Are Well-writen But I Can’t Connect To or Like
Male
John Locke, a great-written character who drives me up the wall with his over-zealousness and delusions of grandeur.
Spike, he really does have a great character arc and characterisation but his over-exposure and the fandom’s adulation of him drive me crazy, plus I hate how his narrative overtakes Buffy’s.
Jack Shepherd, such a great arc, such an amazing journey but his douchey behaviour and the way he treats certain characters means I just can’t like him.
Perry Cox, I find him amusing and do occasionally like him but his lack of self-awareness and overall mean attitude and sexism bugs me.
Dean Winchester, so well-written with a great arc but also abusive, violent, self-righteous, sexist and overall annoying as hell.
Female
Regina Mills, her redemption arc is sloppy but her characterisation was always strong and she’s a fantastic villain, which is why I love to hate her.
Robin Scherbatsky, very well-written with a great arc (until the finale) but I just cannot like her, probably due to her arrogance and meanness.
Rachel Green, now, I don’t hate Rachel or anything but she’s one of my least-favourite Friends characters and I’ve never been able to connect with her.
Katniss Everdeen, a great-written character whose personality I find very hard to reconcile and who I just cannot connect with.
Kate Austin, great arc, great characterisation, full of traits I can’t stand and makes choices that make me want to throttle her.
Top 5 Characters Storylines I Would Like To Alter
Male
Neal Cassidy, he was done so dirty by that damn show!
August Booth, another one screwed over by OUAT and there was so much left to explore with his character!
Dean Forrester, I really hate how much Gilmore Girls dumbled down and assassinated his character.
Boyd Langton, Dollhouse’s weird out-of-nowhere reveal that he was the bad guy completely changed his character and he didn’t deserve that.
Jake Ballard, he deserves better than being second-choice for Olivia Pope.
Female
Laurel Lance, who deserved the fucking world and got nothing, I would change so much about her storyline and eventual fate.
Mellie Grant who, like Laurel, deserved so much and got shit.
Emma Swan, who was character assassinated in order to box her into a toxic ship which decimated everything about her.
Juliet Burke, who should have lived and had a happy life and finally made it off that damn Island!
Effy Stonem, who deserved better than to be sandwiched between two guys who treated her like a prize and blamed her for their rivalry, not to mention the shitty “friends” who used her as their scapegoat.
Top 5 Traits Of My Disliked Characters That I Like (I’m not going to pick my absolute most disliked characters for this, but just 5 characters I dislike in general. Also, probably can’t come up with five for each, so I’ll go with as many as I can list).
Male
Going with Wesley again - love his intelligence, his surprising confidence when he allows himself to show it, his thirst for knowledge and his goofiness.
Spike - I like his bravado, his confidence and his loyalty.
Dean Winchester - similarly to Spike, his bravado, his loyalty and his confidence, as well as his humour and love of fun.
Luke Danes - I like that he’s good at the big gestures, I like his snark and his homebody nature.
Jess Mariano - I like intelligence, his snark and the fact that he sorts himself out later on in life.
Female
Anya Jenkins - love her work ethic and the fact that she handles money well and knows how to budget, save and invest.
Betty Cooper - she’s got gumption, I’ll give her that and she is intelligent and hardworking.
Felicity Smoak - like Betty, she’s intelligent and has gumption.
Cassie from the Animorphs series - she’s compassionate and does try to understand people, which I like.She also has a lot of empathy.
Alison DiLaurentis - she is ruthless and strategic and highly intelligent, all of which I admire, even if her actions are truly sociopathic.
Top 5 Traits Of My Loved Characters I Dislike (again, this may not reach five but I’ll do my best)
Male
Angel - his tendency to make decisions for others, his jealousy, the way he can completely cut off those he cares about.
James Ford - the way he lets his self-hatred affect others, his self-centredness, the way he can be deliberately cruel at times.
August Booth - he lies way too much, his self-hatred, his selfishness.
Neal Cassidy ………….. nope, I love Neal too much, can’t think of any traits I dislike.
Charles Gunn - the way he diminishes himself for others.
Female
Prue Halliwell - that damn pride, her self-righteousness, her judgmental streak.
Juliet Burke ……………. nope, as with Neal, love her way too much to dislike anything about her.
Lana Lang - her Mary Sue traits (this lies more on the writing of her character than her), her tendency to project her own feelings onto others.
Lilah Morgan - well, she’s an evil bitch, but you’re supposed to hate her for that, so I more hate her actions than her herself, such as when she gives Cordy the visions which almost kill her or when she sends people to drill into Lorn’s head.
Jo March - her lack of propriety at times, her judgemental streak, her refusal to adhere to convention (at times)
Top 5 Ways My Disliked Characters Contributed To The Main Storyline That I’m Fine With (I am running out of steam and not sure if I can come up with 5 males and 5 females, so gonna combine them for this last one and again might not make it to Top 5)
Alison DiLaurentis - I like her as a villain, her murder kicks off the whole series which worked well, and I liked that she works as a foil for all the girls, in particular Hanna and Mona.
Spike - love him as a villain in Season 2, love that he works as a foil for Angel in AtS Season 5, liked him stirring things up in Lovers Walk in Season 3.
Regina Mills - love her as a villain, love her as the Curse Caster, liked her dynamic with Emma, liked her as a foil for Snow and Emma.
……. I actually might be out, as usually when I hate a character it’s because of the way in which they negatively impact the storyline.
Whew, I’m knackered. Hope you enjoy my answers, even if they’re not 100% what you asked for!
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tauers-go-dutch · 6 years ago
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*Edinburgh Pun Here
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Mariah and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary on May 25.  Last year, I took her to Nice, which is a lovely city set majestically on the coast of southern France.  But I think five years is much more of a milestone, one that deserves something a bit more grand, a bit more thoughtful, a bit more unique.  So I booked us tickets to the Edinburgh Beer Fest!
Ok, ok, it wasn’t really like that.  Yes, I legitimately planned to go to a beer fest on our anniversary weekend.  But really we booked several other items on this trip, and on the trips to come in the following weeks, to celebrate our special occasion.  In fact, the first thing that we did upon arriving in the city was to go to Dishoom, an elegant Indian restaurant that we first fell in love with in London.  We splurged with cocktails, fried okra, pau bhaji (mashed veggie curry paste), classic mattar paneer, chana chaat salad, and a lamb dish that was the special for the Edinburgh location.  This was a truly great meal and a great start to our anniversary.  We strolled through the city a bit, and then enjoyed cocktails in a truly hidden speakeasy called the Bramble Bar.  If we hadn’t had to sit next to the speakers, we might have stayed a bit longer.  No matter- we enjoyed our evening regardless, as we managed to find a little beer bar near our hotel called Salt Horse. They had some great stuff on tap due to the beer fest, but I would bet the list is aces every other day of the year as well.
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Cheers to five year!
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After sleeping in, we grabbed a late coffee and pastry at a local coffee shop called Fortitude. It is a tiny place, but the coffee is superb and the pastries are fantastic.  I had a cinnamon roll with a cream cheese frosting.  We tried not to eat too much, as I also booked a food tour for the afternoon.  Our guide was actually also the company owner, which was pretty cool.  She was a food writer who is originally from Edinburgh, but worked in London and Hong Kong for years before returning to start this company.  There was only one other person on the tour- a sommelier from Portugal.  The sommelier was nice enough, but she was a little… off. Its ok, as we still got to enjoy veggie haggis.  It’s actually pretty easy to find the veggie alternative to the traditional dish throughout Edinburgh.  Ours was fried as a bar snack, which is not uncommon in the city for both traditional and veggie haggis. The veggie haggis is typical a combo of carrots, onions, mushrooms (don’t tell Mariah!), lentils, oats, and nuts (ie, hazelnut), all mixed with traditional spices.  It was good! Also on the tour, we ate ridiculous amounts of cheese, including the strongest blue cheese I’ve ever had, from the famous IJ Mellis, amazing chocolate from Coco Chocolatier, tea and scones from a small tea house, and peaty Islay whisky at a bar called Pickles. Overall, it was a good outing.
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Veggie haggis
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So. Much. Cheese. 
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Trying the local fishmonger’s smoked salmon
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Afternoon scones
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Topping off the tour with a whisky
After the food tour, we went over to the beer fest… well, I may have stopped for a quick pre-game beer first! The fest was held in an old biscuit (meaning cookie if you’re American) factory.  There were breweries pouring beer on three levels, with food stands outside and some sweet swag for sale in the annex.  Breweries big and small were pouring, most from the UK.  We started with the Wild Beer Co, but we found a ton of other little gems, such as Buried in Strawberries (strawberry Flanders red) from the Hanging Bat Brew Co, Woodland Creatures (pistachio and honeycomb milk stout) from Left Handed Giant, or the nicely referenced Not Your Buddy, Guy (Canadian maple breakfast stout) from the local Stewart Brewery.  The food was great as well.  I had a Korean fried chicken sandwich (yum!), some gyozas (yum!), and wood fired pizza (yum!).  We also bought some shirts and a hat!  It was a great night.
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She’s excited about the wood fired pizza coming her way
By now, dear reader, you should guess that we started the next day with brunch.  Mariah and I stuck to our strengths.  Acai bowl for Mariah, and eggs Benny for me.  Delicious. We walked over to the Stockbridge Market. Great food… Mariah had more gyozas, which were a knockout.  I was able to hunt down my first classic Scottish egg.  It was ok.  If I could have fit any more food in my belly, I would had some of the amazing pulled pork, though we did get to try a homemade marshmellow.  We walked around the city a bit, looking for classic tea cups. We also stopped by a few tea shops, picking up more tea to bring back stateside.  I admit, I picked a few for myself.  
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Edinburgh Castle
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Intensely eating her gyoza
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My Scottish egg
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Giving Greyfriars Bobby a rub for luck
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The River Liffey
Mariah had also booked high tea at the Dome, which is a restaurant, bar and tea room in an old bank that had an ornate - wait for it – dome – in the lobby. It actually was really cool, and the tea was tops.  Really, I just judge high tea on the scones, and these ones were fantastic (Mariah even gave me one of hers).  We walked around for a bit more, taking in some beautiful views.  Our flight was a bit later this time around, so we actually still had time to have dinner.  We went to a local bar called Holyrood 9A, which specialized in burgers.  This was perhaps the best sit down burger I’ve had in Europe.  Seriously, I’d be there every week if I lived in Edinburgh (not a bad prospect).  I also had my first real haggis.  Actually pretty good, like black pudding.
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I was really looking forward to going to back to Edinburgh.  Without the strain of moving and adjusting to a new time zone (and continent), as well as developing our own style of travel, we were able to do Edinburgh justice the second go around.  It’s a great city with lots of personality.  I can’t wait to get back to Scotland, and start exploring the harder to reach spots around the country!
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Arthur’s Seat - we checked that hike off our bucket list the first go 
Tot ziens!
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hello-stensy-blog · 7 years ago
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Crushable - Chapter IV
Bacon, eggs, and a good old conspiracy theory. What a perfect way to start the day! Clyde was staring into a beautiful pair of green orbs: Stensland’s eyes. While the ginger’s mouth was running in an uninterrupted flow of words, Clyde was trying to focus. By the way he was talking, he could tell that Stensland took the topic very seriously. Clyde figured anything that got so much attention from Stensland must be listened to with the highest regard. Therefore, Clyde’s brain was trying to process all the information Stensland gave him regarding Michael Jackson still being alive, and how the whole death-thing was only an elaborate, meta promotion for a future album.
-When you really think about it, it all makes sense! I’ll send you some youtube videos on Facebook. -I don’t have, err, the Facebook, Clyde said awkwardly -Really? But… How are we going to keep in touch, after this is all over?
Stensland’s eyes were filled with helplessness. Clyde wanted to make it stop, to make all sadness leave his new friend’s face. There could be nothing worse than a sad Stensland. He stuttered:
-Well, uh… I mean… Now, you’re not going anywhere, are you?
Stensland seemed caught by those words. They had never clearly discussed how things would roll for them in the aftermath of all this. They needed to figure out a way out of their current troubles, but then?
-Well, I… guess. I mean… We are meeting with your brother, right? -Right. -And… then? -Well, I mean... Until we find a solution... I mean, even after, you probably won't be safe so you can... Stick around for a while. -Really? Wouldn't that bother you? I mean... You already risked so much to rescue me. -Yeah well, y'know. Might as well.
Stensland cracked a smile.
-Thank you so much, Clyde. You are an amazing person and you deserve the best. You will not be forgotten. There you go, have more bacon!
Having said that, Stensland put an extra slice of bacon on Clyde's plate. Clyde chuckled.
-I'm honored. Beats any kind of decoration. Too bad I can't keep it.
While Clyde was eating his well-deserved bacon, his last sentence had Stensland wondering. He stared at his friend's prosthesis--still sporting the ducky band aid.
-Did you, err... How did you lose your...? -Iraq. -...Okidoki.
Stensland instantly regretted his answer. He did not want to sound like an insensitive prick. But what the hell is one to say in such a situation? Still, “Okidoki” surely wasn’t the best option he had. But Stensland always felt uncomfortable with pain and loss, and he never knew how to lighten up the mood. Plus, Clyde was a secretive guy―something Stensland struggled to understand as someone who was always very emotional and demonstrative. He internally panicked at how to continue. Oh, well. In America, do what Americans do. He started stuttering:
-I-I mean I'm so sorry for your, err... I'm sorry. Thanks foooor your service...?
Clyde was clearly trying to contain his laugh. Stensland had no idea if that was good news or not. Why do I keep being offensive about my lifesaver's lost arm, Stensland internally whined.
-You finished your drink, Stensland noted, You want more beer? I'll get you more beer!
Without giving Clyde a chance to answer, Stensland snatched Clyde's pint glass and ran to the counter.
-Lady, please! Fill up that pint for my good friend Clyde! -A'ight, the old lady mumbled.
The waitress was obviously too busy gossiping with another old lady to quickly fulfill Stensland’s demand. Looking around to distract himself, he opened his eyes wide in disbelief. Casually sitting at the counter was Grady. THE Grady, from the Grady Method for Self Love! Without thinking further, Stensland practically assaulted him.
-You’re Grady, right? From the Method?
The mustached man gave him a proud smile, nodding.
-I am. -I’m such a huuuge fan of it! That’s so inspiring!
Clyde was on his own at their table and he had finished eating. He thought of past and future events. Their situation was complicated, even to Logan family standards. But his brother would figure out a plan, he was sure of that. He always had a plan. When he saw his brother enter the diner, the tension Clyde had been storing up suddenly left his shoulders. Jimmy sat at his table.
-How are you? -I’m good. -It’s been a while, though. What’s goin’ on? -Uh… I have problems, yeah. -Clyde, tell me. Is it, like… Cauliflower big? -Uhm…. -Alright, Clyde. What’s going on?
Clyde leaned a bit, talking in a low voice.
-So I’ve got, uh...My friend over there. We are, err…
Clyde was looking for a good way to phrase this mess of a situation, but he reminded himself that no matter the words he chose, the hard facts were still right there in the form of an angry ginger nipping at their heels. So he just said freely what came to his head:
-My friend and I over there are being chased by some mafia dude. -The fuck? -Well, let’s say... we lost his money, or something. -Okay. Do I know this friend? -No. -What’s his name? -Stensland? -It doesn’t sound like a real name to me. Where did you meet this guy? -Well, it’s...it’s complicated. -I can see that. Clyde. -Wha’ ? -What’s really going on? How did you meet him? -What’s your deal, Jimmy? -I’m afraid your friend is using you. -No, no, don’t worry about that, Clyde laughed -I’m serious, Clyde. It wouldn’t be the first time that someone had taken advantage of you. You just trust people too easily. -I swear, it’s not like that. -Maybe it’s time we have that conversation again.
Clyde shook his head, answering straight away:
-No. No need to. -Clyde. -No. -Even Mellie has noticed it. You gotta know it’s alright with us, you don’t have to hide it from us. -It’s not like that. -No, listen. You don’t need to live a secret life. Find yourself a… a nice boyfriend. Introduce him to us, that’s fine. -I’m not… I’m not what you think. -If people are mean to you, y’know. You got our support, still. You know that, right? You got us. You don’t have to hang out with troublesome people.
Clyde scoffed. This was too much, coming from Jimmy.
-You’re troublesome too, when you think ‘bout it. -I haven’t been in that business for like three years! Don’t be like that. -Stensland is okay. He’s…
“Nice, cute and soft” were coming to Clyde’s head, but he did not want his brother to twist these words and bring back the previous topic. Clyde did not want to think about all that gay stuff.
-He’s...okay.
Bursting into the diner at the perfect moment, a familiar ginger figure angrily thundered Stensland’s name.
Clyde turned to see Armitage Hux followed by a masked figure, and then Stensland who had just taken a selfie with a mustached man, now looking absolutely terrified.
Armitage Hux and his hound chased a fleeing Stensland around the diner. Clyde rushed after them, and his brother followed. Everything quickly dissolved into chaos: the masked man had unsheathed a sword, Armitage Hux had fired his gun twice already, the diner’s clients were screaming, and the waitress was barking out threats with her shotgun held tight. Soon, Stensland was trapped by the blackclad figure, finding himself pressed against a wall with a blade against his throat. He was also held at gunpoint by a sneering Armitage Hux, who was in-turn corned by the waitress lady with the shotgun who yelled:
-Y’ALL BETTER CALM THE FUCK DOWN! -Oh shut up, will you? Armitage snapped, We have serious issues to clear, and I couldn't care less about your opinion right now! -Woah, woah, woah―everyone keep their cool, Grady said carefully as he slowly stood up, rising his hands.
Armitage pointed his gun at Grady’s face in response:
-Don’t you DARE intervene! NOBODY is allowed to talk, except me! -What the FUCK is this! This is not Comic-con! Who carries a FUCKIN’ sword around these days? GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! THIS IS A FUCKIN’ FAMILY RESTAURANT, the diner lady barked.
Armitage Hux shot at the ceiling, and the room fell into stunned silence. With order restored, both gingers were now staring into each other’s eyes. As if he didn’t get the hint that they were currently in the presence of a maniac with a gun, Jimmy asked Clyde loud enough for Armitage to hear:
-So what, this is your boyfriend’s evil twin?
He received an immediate reply from both Clyde and Armitage in perfect sync:
-He’s not my twin! -He’s not my boyfriend!
Stensland made a face, mumbling:
-Jeezus. Didn’t know it was THAT embarrassing to be related to me…
Grady was still trying to make sense of this situation:
-Okay, so what’s the story here?
But before either involved party could speak, three more intruders rushed into the diner, holding machine guns.
-ARMITAGE HUX! -What now?!, Armitage sighed, rolling his eyes. -You fuckin’ traitor, prepare to die! -WHAT?!
Grady was now rolling his eyes as well. In all of his career as a lawyer, he had never been in such a catastrophic situation.
-Okay, guys, I’m going to need you all to start from the very beginning! -Who THE FUCK ARE YOU, MUSTACHE GUY?!
One of the two newcomers spoke with a voice that sounded much too cheerful for someone holding a machine gun in a family diner:
-He’s Grady! -Yup, exactly. I’m Grady, from The Grady Method for Self Love. -Grady Method? What the fuck? Armitage said with a disgusted look on his face.
As if he momentarily forgot that he was threatened by a gun AND a sword, Stensland exclaimed:
-Exsqueeze me? You don’t know about the Grady Method for Self Love? Does your boss keep you in a cave or something? - Excuse me, STENSLAND, but if his field is Self Love, I don’t think I need his guidance! I love myself quite enough, only LOSERS like you need people to teach them how to love themselves. -I mean, Armitage, Kylo interjected, I agree that Stensland is an idiot, but that Grady is quite the famous guy actually, so… -Yeah, the cheerful machine gun man insisted, He’s got his own show, too. -And his book is a best seller, Kylo added. -Could you PLEASE tell me what’s going on? -Well Mr Grady, the boss suspects Armitage Hux to be the traitor we’ve been tracking down these past few weeks. -Lars! Why the fuck are you… -It’s fine! He’s a lawyer! He’s great, Lars insisted. -I’M NOT A TRAITOR!
The three gangsters stared at Armitage, then Stensland. They looked perplexed.
-Wait… what the fuck is that? -There are...two of them? -Which one of them is Armitage Hux? -I AM ARMITAGE HUX, growled Armitage. -Yes, yes. He’s Armitage Hux, Stensland whimpered. -Armitage Hux could say both of these things. -What?
At this point, Grady made a note to himself: I’ll never make it in time for this afternoon’s planned book signing.
Kylo Ren grunted.
-That’s fuckin’ ridiculous. Armitage is not a traitor. He can’t even talk back to the boss. -Yeah, well, maybe it’s just an elaborate scheme of his! -Elaborate scheme? Armitage huffed. -I’m surprised those words are a part of your vocabulary, Lars, scoffed the masked man. -You know what, Kylo Ren? With your smart mouth, I’m sure you’re a fuckin’ traitor as well! -At least you got something right.
Armitage Hux gave Kylo Ren a surprised look.
-You didn’t come for Armitage. He’s not a traitor. You came for me. -Oh, that’s cute, mocked one of the gangsters, He’s trying to protect his girlfriend! -Y’know what? We should just shoot the two gingers and Kylo fuckin’ Ren. -Gentlemen, please! Don’t shoot anyone, advised Grady, I feel like everyone in this diner has a freakin’ gun in their pocket. If everyone dies, what good will that do?
There were a few seconds of complete silence. Everyone was giving Grady’s words consideration.
-I suggest you ALL put your weapons down so we can figure this out. Calmly. Then, you can take your business outside and deal with it the way you please… But there are people here, including me, who had planned to eat nachos without ending up in a bloodbath. -Amen to that, Grady, Stensland said. -You shut your mouth, Armitage growled. -Please, please, Grady said with the voice of a forgiving father. All of you...put your weapons down.
Lars was the first to do so. He convinced his colleagues to imitate him. Even Kylo Ren and the waitress lady listened.
-I really need you to cooperate, son, Grady insisted, seeing that Hux hadn’t yet lowered his gun.
Hux eventually obeyed with a sigh. After this was ensured, Grady proceeded to clear the room of those uninvolved in the dispute.
-Okay Lars, we have heard your point of view already, Grady said. You think that Armitage is a traitor, but Kylo Ren here said he IS the one you’re looking for. Is that correct, Ren? -Absolutely. -So, this is cleared up. Now, Armitage, what’s your issue with Stensland?
Armitage was still staring at Kylo. His face was not tense anymore, but he was worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. He looked like he ached after Ren’s revelation.
-No, Armitage said, Let’s not glide over that fact so soon, he said, What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Ren?
The masked knight remained silent.
-ANSWER ME! -I’m sick of the First Order. I’m starting my own thing. -Your OWN thing? What do you mean, your own thing? You barely know how to iron your clothes and you’re telling me you’re trying to outsmart the BOSS? -Seriously, Hux. Look at this shit (His boyfriend pointed at the three gangsters) Your so-called boss sent these three losers to take you down, and they can’t even tell the difference between you and Stensland who is THIS close to wetting his pants. -Hey, that’s not--Stensland began to defend himself. -To be honest, Hux DID have that same look on his face when HQ was overrun last year, Lars sneered.
His two friends chuckled and approved. Armitage turned red with both anger and embarrassment.
-What I’m saying is… We’re worth more than them, Hux. We could do this. We could do this BETTER.
Armitage shivered. For a moment, he felt flattered by Kylo’s words, but then he suspected it was all some trick.
-You don’t have what it takes, Ren. You’re a child. -So you’d rather put your trust in Snoke, who constantly drags you through the dirt? You want to go on chasing fuckin’ AMATEURS around the country for a man that terrifies you instead of ruling the city with a man that loves you?
Kylo and Hux were staring at each other like everyone around them had suddenly disappeared. The others were at loss, and their eyes jumped between every other person in the room. Stensland and Clyde locked eyes for a few seconds, which was enough to inject courage in the disheveled ginger’s veins. Now’s my moment to shine , Stensland thought. His mouth ran wild again, rising above the grave silence:
-Anything that's worth anything is scary or dangerous in one way or another.
Somehow, this sentence spoke to Armitage and Clyde on a sentimental level. Meanwhile, the group of mafia thugs assumed that Stensland was sending an encrypted message against them. In response, all the members reached for their weapons at once, taking aim at their targets. Clyde jumped up then, running for Stensland and pushing him to the ground. The shooting started. His body pressed against the smaller man’s frame, closer than any shield. This was too unreal. Blindly, Stensland’s hands reached to dig into Clyde’s arms, holding tight. Both felt safe, anchoring him to sanity among the swirling commotion around them.
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